I’ve not been my writing self of late….and, my body is not my own…..someone has inhabited it I fear, temporarily for sure, but it does not feel my own. I move differently than I recall, I feel leaden heavy, as though someone poured cement down my throat while I slept and blew up my skin like a balloon….my 2Lu friend said maybe it was like an oil spill happening inside me….expanding the perimeters and creating a heaviness around my wings. Yes!
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And this week, someone has been leaning hard their imprint on my body canvas and I’m not liking it….not a bit. I hide it, these uncomfortable feelings, because honestly, who cares. I hide them rather well, though at home I express openly to my 6 fur clad clan….they like to hear all the details and listen with rapt attention. How kind of them!
I wish to be without a body perhaps not soon, but one day. I’d fancy being a bit more like Tinkerbell, flitting here and there with my energy flow and wand…..nimble and quick, at ease with my breathing even and sure, not this labored version that makes me feel weak and so not me.
But our ‘me’ is as varied as the cells in our body, some are distorted, others good at swimming and still others content to puff up and ruin the orderly lineup.
This teaming life. It’s not suiting me this day.
Though every now and again, even on the most ill fit day or moment, a surprise awaits…..there is always a surprise and if you’ve had enough harsh upsets, no doubt, considering the law of averages, you, we, are due for one that might instead delight us….
And just as our bodies change from one day or year to the next, I must say, in that I am a bit spoiled and not as patient with each moment, I look forward to the next uplifting gift…..as I find I am most deserving of one.
And I’m sure, oh, very sure, you are too.
I’m considering how fun snow in August in Georgia might feel. Or, a suddenly fall day to just shake things up a bit.
Most ANYthing is possible.
BB Webb