I feel a bit green today, no, not something I ate, more as in Kermit the frog ‘it’s not EASY being green’). The Universe is doing its job of tossing me ‘washing machine-like,’ back and forth with my convictions and with humbling lessons begging me to take notice! Being human can be laughable and I am its for sure comic protagonist. Well, I can handle it.
I reunited with a dear friend last Sunday evening. It felt good to come at our friendship from a new angle and to appreciate the similarities instead of the differences we’ve shared. We’ve known each other a good year and a half and I was happy to find a new grounding in how to relate to one another, to accept differences and appreciate just who he is, really a good, very good and kind person.
Fast forward to two evenings ago. I sat writing on my back porch, my favorite place to be as the weather cools, and heard some crackling of branches behind me and had a sense that someone, something was in my back yard near my forest. Indeed there was, 3 beautiful gray and 2 gorgeous chestnut deer, one a baby, were calmly munching greens in my back yard. There was a gentleness about them.
Ken Andrews, in his book, ‘Animal Speaks’ talks of the symbology of animals. He discusses deer as follows:
The deer was sacred to the feisty goddess Artemis, from Greek mythology. Deer symbolize the powers in nature that are not easily subdued….They represent instinctual energy, independence, and regeneration, which stems from their antlers being shed and re-grown each year. This instinctual energy that deer represent tells us to trust our gut reactions, because those instincts will tell us when to fight or flee.
Reading this somehow propelled me to open up Byron Katie’s book this morning, (her twists on psychological perspectives inspire me). With more crashing about happening in my world, I’m curious more than ever to understand why I do what I do, react how I react, judge when I try not to. Funny how the Universe guides me to just the right books, people or situations as I work to glean new and better perspectives in my world. I’m humbled only when I think I should know better, (which honestly is often….back to the ‘being green’ adage)!
I opened to this paragraph:
Woman: ‘I need my husband to understand me’.Byron Katie (BK): ‘You need him to understand you – is that true?’
Woman: ‘Yes’.
BK: ‘Is that what you really need? Can you absolutely know that that’s what is best for you?’
Woman: ‘Well, ultimately…I guess not.’
BK: ‘Who knows what’s best for you right now? Does a flower open ahead of its time? It isn’t possible, is it? We can give it care, sunshine, water, and it opens when it opens: right on time. Sweetheart, how do you treat him when you believe the thought that you need him to understand you, and he doesn’t?’
Woman: ‘I get really angry and upset. I withdraw. I stand in judgment of him.’
BK: ‘Yes, when you believe that, you don’t understand him! So you are the teacher of no understanding. Who would you be without the thought that you need him to understand you?’
Woman: ‘I would be happy with him.’
BK: ‘Yes, honey. You’d understand him. You’d be the living example of understanding, which is what you want him to be. When I seek someone’s love, approval, or appreciation, how can I possibly understand him? It’s unkind to him, and it’s unkind to myself. I would rather be free. I would rather see what happens in that freedom, just being with him and accepting him as he is in the moment. Who knows what I could learn? And who wouldn’t love and appreciate someone who understands? “I need him to understand me” – turn it around.’
Woman: ‘I need me to understand him.’
BK: ‘Yes. You need to understand that he doesn’t understand. You just gave him his life back, in his mind, and he will experience that, and as he does, it comes back to you again in the sweet space that flows without separation. When you believe the thought, ‘My husband should understand,’ and the reality is that he doesn’t, it’s a recipe for unhappiness. You can do everything in the world to make him understand you, and he’ll end by understanding what he understands.’
My mouth hangs wide open as I reread this, a fly catching mouth in those moments! I love being surprised and too bad for my schrewish ego in moments, which I might do well to periodically tame! It’s not everyone who can handle a shrew. Frankly, I’ve come to giggle at her and tickle her under the chin. I’ve found she merely needs a gentle touch!
Life is magic. It just is. And, being green just isn’t so bad!
BB Webb