Loss is a tricky thing. We don’t like it. We like to have what we have and consider that it’ll never go away…the good things that is…people we love, ‘stuff’ we’ve accumulated, great moods that come our way…. being in shape, having the attentions we crave, perfect hair days!
My former husband, Tommy Webb, passed away last weekend from the devastating effects of ALS. I had spoken with his lovely wife Jj that morning from their home in Sandpoint, Idaho. Together we were planning a birthday party and naming of the Carl House ballroom in his honor upon their return to Georgia so Tommy could be near his children, family and friends. 
Later that afternoon she texted me to share that the doctors did not think he would make it through the night. She was gracious enough to hold the phone up to him, as he was in a semi-conscious state, to allow me to say good-bye and to express my love and gratitude for his presence in my life.
Tom was the architectural visionary for Carl House and was pivotal in helping me launch that business. Though our marriage didn’t ultimately work out and there was indeed a loss there, in retrospect, the benefits, the growth that came in time, far outweighed the losses. In fact, it’s the losses that created the growth, the ‘ahas’ and the ultimate benefits.
We don’t tend to learn as much from easy times as we do through the rough ones. I speak about this in my ‘Adversity Rocks’ talk. I’ve had challenging times in my business, working to figure out how to do what I needed to do to run it by myself, to manage the various loans, needed growth, employees, clients. With the turn in the economy our abundant, easy times for business growth changed…it was a loss. I had to learn to do things differently, strengthen my resolve, my smarts, my ingenuity, surround myself with better fitting allies. The losses experienced from that time created a strength in me, a fortitude I didn’t know I had. A loss can do that for anyone…if we choose.
I also feel there is tremendous importance in taking time to grieve a loss. I suppose that time frame varies for everyone. Until Tom’s untimely death, I hadn’t realized that I had some more ‘letting go’ to do, not so much of him, but the dream I’ve had surrounding marriage, my work and with letting go of parts of myself that didn’t fit for who I was becoming. I find that the real journey has been feeling whole within myself. In looking back, I see how far I’ve come.
There is a butterfly who has been visiting my coveted writing, meditation area on my porch every morning since Tom passed away. I’ll consider it a sign of more transformation I feel coming, as that’s what butterflies symbolize. I feel a chapter closing and another one opening up as I, along with so many others, mourn the loss of a beloved soul who I was fortunate enough to cross paths with for a dozen plus years. I am reminded of the many blessings we are presented with daily and the opportunities we have for growth as spiritual beings having our human experiences.
Bless you Tommy and thank you for the love you shared with all who knew you, who crossed paths with you and who ultimately had the benefit of being in your presence. Your light on the planet will be deeply missed and enjoyed from the heavens above. With love…