I’m on a tear this morning…in for a routine checkup, my doctor’s results, ‘you’re off the charts with beyond sagging adrenals signaling a body functioning on fumes and adrenalin.’
‘You’re kidding,’ I hear myself shout a bit too loudly, knowing her entire waiting room hears through her rice paper ‘privacy partition.’ ‘I spend too much time and money on vitamins, eating right, exercise and doing all the stuff I ‘should’ to be ‘burnt out,’ really??’
I’ve known my doctor, Andrea, for years. As a naturopath, she goes beyond conventional medicine, taking a more detailed look at what’s happening in the body, enabling me to address any pre-cursor to anything more serious that a ‘regular’ doctor might later recognize.
With my last utterance Andrea, another fire-y redhead, looks me dead in the eyes, raising a cautious yet amused eyebrow. Calmly, ‘There’s the rub dear…YOU don’t stop. You need to unplug, recharge before you tackle the next frontier…take a breather BB.’
I feel a weighty tear filling each weary eye. My mother’s favorite ‘save the relationship’ phrase fell from my lips, ‘you might be right Doc’.
As I give myself permission to feel the weight of my business responsibilities, chief among them cash flow and the management the people, coupled with my drive to create new things, add to that a meager attempt at a social life, I could feel my face fall from its customary, ‘off the the races’ grin to something settling closer to my high heeled shoes; permission to breathe, let go, fall down, slumber, rest, unplug. I feel myself melting, vanilla pudding to the floor.
A neuron quickly fires. I call in my savvy top team, a duo any business owner would celebrate. I endeavor not to mince words but aim and fire.
‘I’d like to steer our ship in new directions and find I can’t with both ends of my candle burning, it’s affecting my health and I must stay strong. Please consider thoughts on how I might comfortably do so.’
Their plan both impressed and touched me. These 40-50 something women knew what I was asking. Not hesitating, they stood up to my request and challenge, freeing me to regain my strength and assume the creative role that will take us forward. I felt my shoulders dropped 2 inches.
That evening, Friday, I relaxed at home while a wedding is masterfully attended by my team. At 1:30am my phone rings! One of our food coolers is losing its temperature. I bolt up in bed! I’m fourth on the acall list, our maintenance folks #1 and #2. I call to find my CFO madly working to reach anyone to remedy this urgent alarm so I don’t have to ‘re-plug’. With no one reachable, in I go to haul meat and dairy from one cooler to the next until we reach our ‘fix-it-guys’.
7am and everything is saved, safe and ready for the morning event. Finally, a call from a mournfully apologetic maintenance person who failed to have his phone by the bed.
Unplugging, a process, worthy of pursuit!