I love to laugh. My mother and I could make each other laugh as big as anyone! She was just FUNNY. Her world view, despite a tremendous amount of adversity, was one where her glass was infinitely full, until it wasn’t and then she left the planet. I hope to leave as swiftly if my mind and heart are unable to embrace an attitude of abundance, love creativity and purpose.
I’m considering this week the thought that our hearts serve our minds and not the other way around. Our culture is one which focuses on logic, mind-i-ness and reason. There is a world much fuller available to us through the perspective of heart.
I recently had a man come into my life who was full of self and confidence, attentions toward me and his own world of smarts and ambition. In our three weeks of ‘getting to know you’, I allowed myself a degree of ‘smitten’ and when my heart opens, I’m not a halfway kind of woman. Though when after 5 visits (the sweet man drove an ample distance), and a measure of closeness, (measure), a disagreement triggered OUR triggers, (not just mine), as his decision, after a fine display of soft wooing and lovely romancing, was ‘I’m outta here’. A tipping point all his own!
I remember standing in my kitchen, at first feeling a tad hurt, considering that whoEVER comes into my world, I hope for two things….that communication and TRUE intimacy might involve seeing into one another beyond the triggers and snap judgement of ‘I’ve been here and out I go’, to question, ‘what am I REALLY looking at….and is there perhaps something deeper for me to learn’. I however felt as though I’d dodged a bullet, lucky to be off dancing on my own clouds!
My second wish….that we all know inside ourselves how infinitely lovable we are, despite the rough edges and trigger points. I hope I might always embrace such compassion, even if the discussion is one saying (lovingly), that my preferences need take me elsewhere. We’re all deserving of such grace and kindness. We just are.
And to the folks who grace my life with their kind or sometimes not so considerate or conscious ways, I thank them ALL….they wake me up in ways only I can know, and there is a blessing in that.
And to the friends who make me laugh and know a deeper part of me, thank you for YOUR unique and accepting embrace of who I am and the love you continually extend. You make me want to hang out on the planet that much longer with your presence in it.
With love, always with love…